Rebranding

So I’ve decided to change things around a little. Aeronautical Beverage Engineer was okay, but it was too long, and no one really understood it. People either loved it, but most people didn’t get it. So out with the old and in with the new: “Skycub; A Bear in the Air”

For those who dont know, the bear community is the subset of the gay community that are generally a bit bigger and more hirsute than average. Theres different designations within the bear communiuty too: Bear, cub, wolf, otter, etc etc etc. I feel I fall into the cub catergory, and I and a flight attendant, so thus SkyCub was born.

Along with rebranding, I would like to take this time to introduce my mascot and constant travel companion, Mr. Bear. He was given to me by my partner so I would never be alone when I was away from home. Unfortunately, he was never given a name, so Mr. Bear just sort of stuck. Since I travel so much for both work and pleasure, I have decided to try and take pictures of Mr. Bear on some of his adventures and post them here.

I will leave Aeronautical Beverage Engineer up for awhile, and have already re-posted my original entries at Skycub: http://skycub.wordpress.com/

Happy holidays

Just a quick post to wish everyone a merry Christmas.

Are You Calling Me Fat?

Ok, so I know people don’t mean me any harm, but for some people a little thought before speaking would be great.  So for this to make sense, I have to tell you a little bit about me.  I am 6’4, and I am built quite solidly.  I have some padding around the middle, but I comfortably fit on the airplane.  Im not a C-D Queen, as they say (when your rear gets so big you hit the passengers in the C and D seats when you walk down the aisle).  So back to my story.  Twice in the last month I have had passengers call me fat.  Not in so many words, but thats how it came across.

I was flying the redeye from LA to New York.  I was working the first class cabin, and pretty much everyone was asleep.  I did my drinks and snacks, and left the snack basket out on the forward galley cabin and settled into my jumpseat for some US weekly reading.  Shortly thereafter one of the people sitting in the exit row comes up to use the first class restroom.  After he comes out, He starts rummaging through my first class snacks.  I politely said “Sir, Those are for our first class.  We have plenty of great food in the main cabin.”  The man turns to me, and in a very nasty tone says “I know, I was just looking.  I used to look like you then I stopped eating shit like that” turned away and stormed back to his seat.  I was shocked.

A couple weeks later I was working my regular role in the main cabin.  I was standing in the back galley and there was a man waiting for the restroom.  We started talking, and out of nowhere he says “Now, I didn’t realize they hired people of your size to be a flight attendant”  Now, before you go defending him, please keep in mind, Size doesn’t usually refer to height.  Most airlines refer to their more ample passengers as “Passengers of Size.” Not so with the tall passengers.  They’re usually just that unlucky guy that got stuck in the non reclining row in front of the exit.  Your height doesn’t require the use of a seatbelt extension, but your “size” might.  Now if he had said “You’re awfully tall to be a flight attendant” that’d be one thing, or “don’t you hit your head a lot” (both questions I get quite frequently, and the answers are “Yes I am,” and “I used to but now I pay more attention”) but he didn’t.

I know Im bigger than most flight attendants, but lets think before we talk

Ashtrays

A question I am asked on almost all of my flights is “Why are there ashtrays in the restroom doors? I haven’t been able to smoke since the first Bush administration?”  I fly on relatively new airplanes, so the question is totally understandable, and in fact one of the first questions I had when I started working for the airlines.   Heres the reason: Ashtrays are installed in case you ignored, or possibly just failed to notice the safety card, posted placards, safety demonstration, overhead information signs, or those friendly uniformed crewmember instructions, and decided to light up at 35,000 feet.  Maybe you tampered with that restroom smoke detector (theres a placard about that too, but I wont go into that, its a big fine and a lot of paperwork for me, so don’t even think about it)  If you do light up that cigarette, I need a safe place to put it.  Waste Basket? Nope, its full of very flammable paper.  Toilet? Nope, not there either.  Chemicals and stuff, And I’d rather know where it is.  Thats why we need a place to put it to make sure its out, and a nice metal lined ashtray is the best place to do so.  Theres one on both sides of each restroom door, so in case someone is in the restroom, we can still put it out.

No, its not the door handle, but thats an entirely different post

As a smoker, I feel your pain.  Winter westbound flights can be brutal with those 150 knot headwinds.  7 hours without a smoke can feel like forever, so here are some handy tips to get through it

Electric Cigarettes

I’ve never tried one, but I’ve seen a few of them and they seem pretty cool.  Apparently theres no official FAA regulation about them, other than they are a portable electronic device, and therefore its got to be off when your laptop has to be off.  And by that point you can have a real cigarette shortly and I think you can wait the 20-30 ins it takes to land, taxi in, deplane, and walk outside.  Check with your airline.  I was flying on Southwest recently and saw that they do not allow them.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.  For those of you who don’t know what they are, its an electronic device that looks like a cigarette that has a battery and a liquid nicotine capsule.  When you inhale, it vaporizes the nicotine which you inhale.  When you exhale, if anything it looks like a small puff of steam.  The ends of some look like its glowing like a real cigarette, so please do us a favor and let your cabin crew know, and let your seatmates know, so it doesn’t cause any alarm.

Lozenges, Gum, Patches

The option I use is any of the readily available smoking cessation tools.  Im not a huge fan of the gum, so I use the lozenges.  I wouldn’t use the patch for this, but if your actually quitting its a great option.  They work really well at taking the edge off, theyre relatively cheap (Target brand is a good buy), and avoids the outward appearance of a cigarette.

So save yourself the fine and possibly a long chat with authorities, and save me the paperwork, and please don’t smoke on the plane

Welcome Aboard

Hello all, and welcome aboard.  My name is Charlie and I’ll be your lead purser today.

I’ve been a flight attendant for just over a year now.  I fly over 100 hours and interact with thousands of people in a month.  I end up with a ton of stories, and wanted a place to share them beyond my partner and the people I fly with.

I’m also asked a lot of questions by passengers on my flights, and have decided that my blog should have more of a purpose than just sharing my stories.  I plan on taking some time out to answer some pressing questions like “why are there ashtrays on the restroom doors?” and “is this your normal route?”

So sit back, relax, and enjoy